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Archive for April, 2007

missing mumbai

no i have not gone into hiding after our devastating loss to Australia last week, nor due to our sad departure from the World Cup a couple of days ago.. I am in fact still travelling the world, currently in London on a Coal seminar (exctiting stuff let me tell you) and will finally be back home on Sunday.. phew..!

so yes.. no more World Cup… I think NZ did suprisingly well.. I think Sri Lanka and Australia are superior teams and we made it as far as we did by having some stunning individual players (Bond, Oram, Styris and Flemings captaincy – not his batting) but we didn’t have a stunning team. But I think we can still hold our heads up as we did make it to the final four relatively easily. bring on the Rugby I say..

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a really classy joke

After a night of drinking, Brian crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you?” demanded Brian,”and what are you doing in my bedroom?”.

The mysterious Man answered, “This isn’t your bedroom and I’m St Peter”.
Brian was stunned “You mean I’m dead!!! That can’t be, I have so much to live for, I haven’t said goodbye to my family…. You’ve got to send me back straight away”.
St. Peter replied, “Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch . We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.”
Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.
“This ain’t so bad” he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, “So you’re the new hen,How are you enjoying your first day here?” “It’s not so bad,” replies Brian,”but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to explode”.
“You’re ovulating,” explained the rooster, “don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before. “Never,” replies Brian. “Well just relax and let it happen.”
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had happened to
him…ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting,
“Brian, wake up you drunken bastard, you’re shitting in the bed.”

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cricket world cup

well, we’re in.. the semifinals are ours, but somehow, despite the fact we have only had 1 loss the whole tournament, i don’t feel completely comfortable. We are looking better than ever – Fleming is superb as a captain and our bowling is sublime, but we havent played those smug and smarmy trans tasman neighbours. It will be the biggest game for us and how frustrated am I that I will be in Germany that day, in Operations meetings the entire game?! Will need regular text message updates from my father and will be spending the whole day with my fingers and toes firmly crossed. Roll on 20th April…

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new zealand

arrived back into a hot steamy Mumbai on Saturday night.. suitcase was missing, last seen in Sydney, but eventually was delivered home on Sunday night (did mange to get 2500rupees out of Singapore Airlines in the meantime though). Had a lovely time in NZ, though it is nice to be home after travelling so much lately.. unfortunately I am off again tonight to Germany and Uk and for the first time in my life I think I would actually rather stay home than travel. But off i go and will dream of May when i send my passport off for replacement and am on enforced home stay for 3 weeks.

Was in NZ for my Dad’s wedding to his partner Denise on Easter Monday. We had the perfect NZ late summer’s day – cloudless deep blue sky, beaming sunshine and not a breath of wind. We celebrated out on a farm that was green and lush and quiet, and we drunk beautiful kiwi chardonnay and gorged on barbeque lamb and pork that had been slow cooking on a spit since 6am. Both animals had been chewing on the sweet NZ grass only a day earlier and tasted mighty fine!

Dad’s car was attacked by his kids and new stepkids:

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Had a chance to go for a drive over to Raglan, a rugged surf beach on the north west coast of the north island and wandered the art galleries, had a pint at the pub and icecreams on the beach. here we are in all our glory enjoying the glow from the setting sun.

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 Also had a quick trip down to Nelson to see my Mum and her family. Met the new baby in the family who is just the cutest bub in the world; and also got to spend time with my wonderful 92 year old Nana who is still going strong and certainly hasn’t lost her marbles. She was born in 1915 and spent her 20s in Wellington, the same city i grew up in. i love thinking about how we walked the same streets and probably even shopped in a couple of the same shops.. only about 65 years apart. her experiences would have been a little different to mine though, depression era and then World War 2 both major eras during her youth. Nana married my Grandad Jack when he came back from the war, but I love hearing her talk about the American soldiers who were posted by Mackays Crossing, north of Wellington, and who used to give gifts of silk stockings and take the girls out dancing. Grandad passed away in 1975, after becoming a successful farmer and also a Member of Parliament for the Labour Party and now Nana has been by herself for as long as she was married. She’s still got a fiery tongue and lets us know about the women she doesn’t like at her rest home (one in particular who ‘dresses like a man’). She gets such a thrill out of seeing her grandchildren (she has five, plus 3 great grandkids) and the walls of her room are covered in photos of us all. It was painful for all of us to say goodbye. When you know you might not be back for a year, you have to take into the account that this time could be the last time and thats never far from our minds. Of course we have been thinking about that for the last 10 years and she is still going strong, my Nana is a trooper.

Here she is with my sister:

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Going home is such a mix of happiness and melancholy, but it is always wonderful to be there.

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quick update

so am in sunny but a bit chilly New Zealand. K flew home yesterday after a frustrating incident at the airport.. our friendly local travel agent forgot to tell us that he needed a transit visa for Australia. a transit visa? i thought the whole point of transit was that you couldn’t leave the airport?! The Aussies seem to be taking security measures to a crazy new high – even carrying liquids is banned and my sister got $200 worth of champagne taken off her when she came through melbourne on her way to Auckland – in transit. freakin’ rediculous. So K couldn’t catch his flight as it was early in the morning and the Embassy was closed and the very unhelpful Lufthansa office couldn’t find another flight to reschedule him on.. he finally found a Singapore Airlines flight that means an 8 hour stopover in Singapore.. i think he’s there right now the poor love, and has got a mammoth journey home. I fly out Saturday morning, back into Mumbai warmth mmmm.. but while here i am enjoying my

vogels bread, marmite, chardonnay, mallowpuffs, shopping  at glassons, kiwi tv, smoked salmon dip and vitawheat crackers, new potatoes, roast chicken, milk, quiet roads, new babies in the family, seeing all the cousins, and eating far too much.

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Mumbai Honkers

Mumbai drivers are funny creatures and they have a particuarly special relationship with their car horn. There are different types of honkers to be found in the city and over the following days I’ll try my best to classify them into their different identities.

I. The Constant Honkner

This guy will drive along at a regular speed behind other guys and emit a constant and regular stream of honks that are seemingly unrelated to anything happening on the road around him. He is not being slowed down by traffic and there is no one getting in his way, but he still feels the need to keep honking just in case.

II. The Random Guy

Similar to above, this guy’s honking seemingly has no relationship to events happening outside his car. this guy just likes the sound of his own horn, so to speak, and as such just likes to push every now and then, even if he is the only other car on the road.

III. The ‘I’m here’ honker

This guy feels the need to make sure everyone else on the road is aware of his presence. Perhaps this stems from a deep insecurity, maybe he was abandoned as a child, but whatever happened he is damn annoying. This guy will come up right behind you and honk no matter if he wants to pass or not. Then if he does pass he will always give a honk as he is doing so, just to remind you again ‘here I am, don’t forget me ok? I’m just here.. now I’m passing, see?’.

IV. The Honk of Determination

This honk often wins on the road due its absolute total ability to irritate and annoy the hell out of everyone else. The Honk of Determination is often used in cases of urgency and is used to supercede all other honkers in the vicinity. The Honk of Determination is often used when the car in front is blocking a free turn and is distinguished by its constant and unyielding hand on the honker. This honk doesn’t stop until it gets its way. Often challenged by the Honk of Frustration, the Honk of Determination is a chief of the Honks and it takes real guts to pull off a proper one. The Mumbai record for a Honk of Frustration currently sits at 10 minutes and 34 seconds, at which stage the honker in question was pulled out of his car and beaten to a pulp by a Honker of Frustration.

V. Premature Honkulater.

This is most commonly recognised at traffic lights and is characterised by a premature honk before the traffic light has changed. Often incorrectly identified as a Honk of Frustration, this honk is actually a early response to build up on tension experienced when faced with a red light.

VI. The Honk of Frustration

One of the more common honks, this honk can be most often found behind slow cars, bullock carts, and cars that fail to move the instant a traffic light changes to green. Also can be often found trying to challenge other honks, such as the Honk of Frustration.

 

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jetsetter

it’s been a while since I’ve had a chance to post.. am in the UAE again, hoping to finalise our project and enjoying great times of reading contract fine prints and having endless meetings.

Luckily I have a light at the end of the tunnel – am off to New Zealand on Friday for a short break… yay! Sweet fresh air, barbeques, roast potatoes, wine, autumn leaves and family. Only downside is that I have the flight schedule from Hell, beginning tonight.

Depart here at 10pm:

Abu Dhabi – Muscat (2 hour stopover)

Muscat – Mumbai (5 hour stopover)

Mumbai – Singapore (2 hour stopover)

Singapore – Auckland

drive to Hamilton

I can guarantee I won’t be feeling too great on Saturday.

Being an international jetsetter ain’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

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